Orson Scott Card's Lost Boys Opening of Episode 1

A few years ago I was going through one of the most difficult experiences of my life when I kept having the thought that I should adapt Orson Scott Card's novel Lost Boys into a screenplay. It took a few years to do that. After I was done with my adaptation, I realized that it was way too long to be a single movie and would work better as a miniseries. (I saw the miniseries format used very effectively in The Dropout and I quickly caught a vision for how Lost Boys could make a great miniseries.) The story takes place over several months and has different sections to it, which is one of the things that makes a miniseries such a great format for it. I first read Lost Boys when I was in college and my life went on to have some parallels to some of the events. Perhaps that's one of the reasons it felt like a book to take refuge into. Sometimes, books understand how you're feeling better than people do.

I loved so many things about writing this adaptation. There's so much texture that you can add to a screenplay, especially one that takes place in a different decade. I loved adding in little touches to make it feel more grounded in the setting, like a news snippet about the developing famine in Ethiopia at the time and top 40 hits from 1983. Bruce Springsteen's album The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle is a recurring theme in the book, so I did a little research to find out more about the songs that Card references and how to incorporate them in. 

LOST BOYS

EXT. HIGHWAY NORTH CAROLINA NIGHT— March 1983

A lone car with Indiana plates drives down the highway. 

INT. CAR

STEP FLETCHER, wearing a ratty BYU sweatshirt is driving while his pregnant wife DEANNE sleeps with her head on a pillow in the passenger seat. He’s boxed in by various bags and toys and clothes and blankets and empty food containers as if everything is attempting to squeeze him out of the driver seat— while he still needs to keep driving. Their children STEVIE,7, ROBBIE,4, and BETSY, 2 are in the back. Robbie and Betsy sleep, but Stevie watches the world going by while his face looks back at him in the window as a ghostly reflection. A ROAD SIGN shows that Steuben, North Carolina is still 118 miles away. Step checks his watch and seeing the late hour,  CLICKS A TAPE into the 8 TRACK TAPE PLAYER and Bruce Springsteen’s “E STREET SHUFFLE” plays while he drives.

ROLL CREDITS

Credits continue as Step drives and a few cars pass him.

END CREDITS

Betsy wakes and starts fussing. 

STEVIE

Dad? Betsy just threw up.

STEP

How much Doorman? A little or a lot.

STEVIE

Just a little. 

Betsy heaves loudly and starts crying.

STEVIE

Maybe a lot.

Step heaves a great sigh, CLICKS pause on the tape and pulls over. Deanne quickly snaps to attention as the kids start to stir.

STEP

(muttering) Damn it.

DEANNE

What happened? And don’t swear. The kids can hear you.

STEP

Deanne, they’re so little they won’t remember I swore.

DEANNE

Stevie will. He’s almost 8.

Step looks back at Stevie, who has fixed him with his large, searching eyes. Then Step turns forward and looks down the dark, lonely highway for just a moment. Betsy cries louder.

STEP

It’s ok. I’ll take care of her. You go back to sleep.

Deanne gladly obliges and Step gets out and heads to the back seat. In the backseat, Betsy fusses and Stevie watches Step clean her off. Step finds some PAPER TOWELS saved just for occasions like this on the long trip.

STEVIE

How close are we Dad?

STEP

About two hours away. 

STEVIE 

Dad?

STEP

Yeah?

STEVIE 

I want to go back to Indiana. I don’t want to move here.

STEP

I know Doorman. I wish we didn’t have to move either. But my new job is here. 

A car WHOOSHES by at high speed, not at a dangerous distance, but too close comfort. Step glances back over his shoulder nervously and then back at Stevie who continues to watch him.

Betsy fusses a little more.

STEP

Shhhh… shhhh…It’s ok Betsy Wetsy.

Betsy heaves up yet more vomit.

STEP

OK, maybe Betsy Pukesy is more like it. Fish Lady, your youngest child is not feeling well right now.

DEANNE

If she’s throwing up, she’s your youngest child, Junk Man.

But Deanne has gotten up and is surveying the situation in the back seat nonetheless. Step gives a little chuckle at her quip and continues cleaning off Betsy.

DEANNE 

We’d better change her clothes. Here let me find a spare set and a clean diaper. You bring her around.

Deanne kicks into action and starts rummaging around in the front seat. Step picks up Betsy and cradles her against the cold and dark and another ZOOMING car as he brings her around to the other side their car.

Swirling blue and red lights pierce the darkness and casting their glow Step and Betsy. An officer gets out and saunters over to them. Betsy buries her head in Step’s shoulder. Step blinks at the light.

OFFICER

What’s the trouble here?

STEP

My two year old daughter just threw up in the back seat. We’re getting her changed.

OFFICER

The shoulder of the road is only for emergencies.

STEP

You don’t think a toddler throwing up is an emergency?

OFFICER

Son, you listen here—

Deanne pops out with the CLEAN SLEEPER, smiling and easygoing.

DEANNE

Well Officer, if you had to drive for even thirty seconds with the smell in the car you might too! Thanks for checking on us.

She pushes out her belly a little more for added sympathy. It works.

OFFICER

Ma’am, I guess you got a point. Just hurry it up. It’s not safe to be stopped here. People come down this road too fast and sometimes take that curve too wide.

STEP 

Thanks for your concern.

The cop glares at Step

OFFICER

Just doing my job.

The cop stalks around to his patrol car and sits and waits with the lights on while Step and Deanne do a quick change with Betsy.

STEP 

What did I say? All I said to him was ‘Thanks for your concern,’ and he acted like I told him his mother had never been married.

Deanne shimmies Betsy’s pants down while Step holds Betsy. 

DEANNE

Step, when you say ‘Thank you for your concern’ it always sounds like you’re just accidently leaving off the word “butthead”.

He hands off Betsy to Deanne who lays her on the front passenger seat for a diaper change. Step, still irritated with the whole situation, looks over at the cop car with its lights. He and the officer give each other terse nods.

STEP

I wasn’t being sarcastic. Everybody always thinks I’m being sarcastic when I’m not.

Deanne hands him a CLEAN SLEEPER to put Betsy back into when the diaper change is finished. Deanne is still hunched over the front seat of the car, attending to Betsy.

DEANNE 

I wouldn’t know I’ve never been there when you weren’t being sarcastic.

Deanne pops back up with Betsy in her newly changed diaper. She smiles at Step. Step smiles back and holds up the sleeper. Deanne starts shimmying Betsy into it.

STEP

You think you know too much, Fish Lady.

Deanne zips Betsy into her sleeper. And leans into him affectionately.

DEANNE

And you don’t know enough, Junk Man.

He kisses her.

STEP 

I’ll put our Betsy Wetsy doll back in her place.

Deanne gives him a slightly annoyed look as she gets back in the car.

DEANNE

Her name is Elizabeth.

Step grins and kisses Betsy on the head. 

STEP

Betsy Wetsy.

INT. CAR— AS BEFORE 

Step places Betsy in the back seat and wipes off the last of the vomit.

STEVIE

I didn’t even hear that cop come up.

Robbie stirs awake and then looks around.

 ROBBIE 

Cop?

STEP 

Go back to sleep, Road Bug.

Step grabs a PLASTIC BAG AND PILES THE DIRTY WIPES AND PAPER TOWELS into it.

ROBBIE

Did we get a ticket this time, Daddy?

STEP

No. He just wanted to make sure we were all right.

Step cleans his hands off with a wipe and piles that one in the bag with the others.

STEVIE

He wanted us to move our butts out of here.

DEANNE

Step!

STEP

It was Stevie who said it, not me!

Step ties the bag,  stows it under the seat and then gets into the front seat.

INT. CAR—  AS BEFORE

DEANNE

He wouldn’t talk that way if he didn’t learn it from you

STEP

Is the cop still back there?

Stevie glances back.

STEVIE

Yep.

STEP

I didn’t hear him come up either. I just turned around and there he was.

Step pulls on his seatbelt and eases out onto the road again. The cop follows but quickly passes them and heads off into the night. 

STEVIE 

What if it wasn’t a cop and you just turned around and it was a bad guy?

DEANNE

He gets his morbid imagination from you

STEP

Nobody would do anything to us out on the open highway like this where anybody passing by could see.

STEVIE

It’s dark and people drive by so fast.

DEANNE

Well, nothing happened. I don’t like talking about things like that.

ROBBIE

If it was a bad guy Daddy would’ve popped him one in the nose! Daddy wouldn’t let anything bad happen.

DEANNE 

That’s right and neither would Mommy.

Step turns on the radio and the last part of U2’s “NEW YEAR’S DAY” PLAYS. After the song finishes an AD PLAYS and Step switches to the next station where a news report comes on.

NEWS BROADCAST

In Ethiopia, the prices of grain are rising in the Tigray and Amhara regions of Ethiopia where conflict between dictator Megitsu Haile Mariam and the Tigray Liberation Front has been ongoing. With the recent years of drought, food shortages have already caused widespread hunger. With Mariam’s price hikes, reports of deaths from hunger are increasing. If the trend continues, a famine is possible with—

Step turns the dial again.

LOCAL NEWS BROADCAST 

Another child has disappeared from the Steuben area. 8 year old David Purdom was last seen on March 3. If anyone has any information, the police ask that you notify them—

Step turns the dial again and gets CYNDI LAUPER’S “GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN”, then STATIC and MORE STATIC and then A VERY OLD COUNTRY STATION. He finally turns the radio off and silence settles in.

STEVIE

Dad, would you pop him in the nose?

STEP

That would depend.

STEVIE

On what?

STEP

On whether I thought that popping him would make things better or worse.if he’s a foot taller than me and weighs three hundred pounds and has a tire iron and wants my wallet— I think it would be better to just give him my wallet.

STEVIE

What if he wanted to murder us all?

DEANNE

Stevie, your dad and I won’t let anyone hurt you.

STEVIE

What if he killed you and dad first and then came after me and Robbie and Betsy?

DEANNE

Stevie, Heavenly Father won’t let anything like that happen to you.

Step grips the steering wheel tighter.

STEP

God doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t always stop evil people from committing their crimes.

A stinging silence ensues. Deanne sits up tentatively and turns towards Step.

DEANNE

He’s asking if he’s safe.

Step stares out into the dark night ahead trying to figure out what to say.

STEP

Yes, Stevie, you’re safe, as safe as anybody ever is who’s alive in this world. But you were asking about what if somebody really terrible wanted to do something vicious to our whole family, and the truth is that if somebody is truly, deeply evil, then sometimes good people can’t stop him until he’s done a lot of bad things. That’s just the way it happens sometimes

STEVIE

But God would get him for it, right?

STEP

In the long run, yes. And I’ll tell you this—the only way anybody will ever get to you or the other kids or to your mother, for that matter, is if I’m already dead. I promise you that.

STEVIE

Okay.

STEP

There aren’t that many really evil people in the world. I don’t think you need to worry about this.

Stevie gazes out his window as the dark world around him rushes by.

STEVIE

Okay

Step CLICKS the cassette player and the “E STREET SHUFFLE” starts playing again.

Landman and Land Women, Or Why Angela is Just the Female Version of Edward Cullen

 I saw the Instagram video about the “hot-crazy” axis for dating women. Women in the top corner of both (9-10 hot and 9-10 crazy) were called the "danger zone", the region where your car gets keyed or you end up in jail or broke. “We don’t want that”, is what the presenter said. With Angela, and to a lesser degree Ainsley, Landman seems to take that advice and throw it out the window. Really crazy and really hot? Yes! This is true love! If you’ve been watching Landman, you’ve seen Angela’s antics: throwing over a table at a family dinner, taking nursing home residents gambling, drinking and to strip clubs (and getting a high school boy— possibly a minor— to strip for one of the elderly women), spending like there’s no tomorrow, assaulting a government employee, letting a boy spend the night with Ainsley in Ainsley’s room, talking about details of her sex life with Ainsley, and openly criticizing and mocking Billy Bob Thornton’s character— whom she claims to love— almost nonstop. And this is sold to the audience as a love story. She’s presented as the woman a man should want to hold onto. But when I watch Landman, I feel stressed out for him every time he picks up the phone and it’s done new crisis with Angela— on top of the already enormous amount of stress of his job in oil. The writers are telling us this is what true love and a dream wife is like— but the evidence they show in the episodes doesn’t hold up to that.

Her time at the nursing home — which involves giving alcohol to senior citizens who are taking multiple medications and helping her daughter convince a boy who might still be 17 to strip for one of the senior women— seems like it’s an attempt to try and counter all the evidence they have provided to the contrary. (I approach character development much like a legal case, as you probably already figured out. If you are presenting a case that your character is something— a hero, a villain, an amazing love interest worth holding onto, etc.— you need to provide convincing evidence that your character is that type of person.) Same thing with Ainsley crying for her dad’s horrible childhood after his mother’s funeral. She is presented as being materialistic, obsessed with appearances, uses sex to manipulate her boyfriend into stripping for a senior citizen, and she’s awful to her brother for no apparent reason— mocking and criticizing him because he’s a working man who gets dirty in the oil fields— and one scene of crying over her father’s childhood is supposed to counter all that. 

It’s somewhat odd that they can’t manage Ainsley and Angela’s characters considering how well the relationship between Cooper and Arianna is developed— despite the fact that it starts out on all the wrong feet seeming like a rebound for Arianna and the couple meeting at her late husband’s funeral. (I don’t think the “meet-cute” concept should be overlooked here. When you ask a couple how they met, how would it sound if they said they met at the woman’s late husband’s funeral? That would sound suspicious and inappropriate.) There’s enough evidence that they supply— like the wedding album scene and the exchange with carrying the groceries in and her going to his grandmother’s funeral— that it seems plausible. An odd start to a relationship, but plausible for their characters.

The annoying thing is that the “hot, crazy dream girl” trope is just another version of the “hot, dysfunctional dream guy” trope which is used endlessly in romance novels with its “rich guy” variant and in Hallmark Christmas movies and other romances with its “poor guy opposite rich guy” variant in which the woman has two hot men (one poor and one rich) who are in love with her and she chooses the poor one. (Huh, somewhat Marxist overtones there.) The “hot, poor, dysfunctional dream guy” may not have steady employment (or owns a bakery or Christmas tree farm) and may or may not be emotionally stable. The rich, hot guy is frequently cold and distant and may even have some sort of attachment issues or be abusive in some way. Edward Cullen is the prime example of this. He’s rich and hot but cold, distant and emotionally unavailable, even leaving Bella when things get bad in the second book. He keeps encouraging Bella to leave and go to college out of state in the fourth book, but then turns around and decides to marry her. (If it’s such a great love story, why does he want her to leave the state?) The sex scenes emphasize pain and injury (which is why it wasn’t a very far jump from Twilight to Fifty Shades of Grey). And this is sold to the reader as what the ideal man is like.

I think what they may have been going for was something like the vivacious and impulsive woman who brings fun and color to a serious man’s life, I’m not sure if they believe the fun and magic can be had without the toxicity and dysfunction though. For all his faults as a writer, LDS author Jack Weyland did this very well with his book Charlie. Charlie (short for Charlene) is fun loving and pulls a lot of impulsive, but harmless tricks on her boyfriend and later husband, Sam. (Like paging him over the PA system at the grocery store as if he was a child that got lost, “trapping” him on the Ferris wheel because she bought a ton of tickets for it, going out as a married couple but pretending to have an affair with the ante up that whoever laughs first has to change the baby’s diapers for a week.) She also demonstrates a care for others though, like making sure that the woman in the bed next to her in the labor room gets a priesthood blessing as well. She loves her husband and her son and cares for them. I have personally known women through work and church who are great at throwing parties and organizing activities, who are upbeat, “light up a room” types, but they love their husbands and kids and don’t criticize them and do their best to support them, even in challenging circumstances. The types of effervescent women the writers seem to want are out there and they hold down jobs and households, manage their own behavior, and are kind to the men in their lives, no toxicity is required. 

I am encouraged by the signs of growth for Ainsley’s character that the story with the roommate showed. Based on the last episode of the most recent season though, I don’t think they’re going to figure out Angela’s character. She’s still going to be hot and crazy and the writers are going to lie to themselves and us and tell us that bailing your ex-wife out of an arrest after she endangers senior citizens is what true love looks like.